Learning to let go

So as Beatrice is growing she is becoming more and more sure of her personality and what she does and didn’t like which is great but also hard work. This week she has learnt the word ‘no’ and although she does use it appropriately most of the time sometimes she just repeats it over and over for no apparent reason (I think she likes the sound of it). She’s constantly singing away and particularly likes the theme tune for in the night garden. If she hears you say even ‘in the garden ‘ she will assume you’re talking about her favourite show as Ian learnt recently and she also loves hey duggee and throughout the day will randomly say ‘duggee’ and hug herself. (Aka duggee hug, watch an episode you’ll get it then).

These are all things that bring me such joy you see but there are certain things I’m finding hard to deal with. Like stickers. Beatrice loves stickers and has a few sticker books. I, in my very specific wisdom, have had to come to terms with the fact that she does not stick them where they should go. Not even close and often just sticks them on top of each other until there is a sticker pile. I have sacrificed some of my sanity just to allow her a bit of happiness. It’s totally worth it for 5 minutes peace plus she looks super cute when concentrating.

Luckily she is still not old enough to do gardening yet so the garden is still my domain and things are in rows and specific places. For now….

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One year old

I can’t believe it! My little baby is 1 year old! And I’m probably not alone in this but in my mummy heart, along with all the excitement, I had a little cry.  One of those stupid moments where my husband looks at me like I’m crazy whilst I mourn the loss of my little baby but rejoice in the independent and feisty little girl I’m raising. 

Anyone who knows me will know that I’m impatient, impulsive, and not impartial to the odd tantrum or two (play any games with me and your guaranteed a meltdown if I lose). My beautiful little girl seems to have picked these up along with my headstrong and determined ability to vocalise exactly what I do and don’t like. Now I’m not complaining about those last 2 as I want a confident daughter who looks after herself but there is nothing like a child to make you aware of your worst qualities. Let’s hope we’re both able to deal with these bad points effectively. 

But in this first year as a mother I have learned many things about myself. Here’s a few of them:

1) I deal a lot better with lack of sleep than I realised, although I do reach a breaking point at times. 

2) I have more patience than I ever thought possible! Mostly when it comes to food time (babies can be really trying! She’d rather eat soil than my homecooked food).

3) It’s possible to miss someone even when they are with you! She drives me crazy,  but I love her.

4) I’ll never go to the toilet alone again and that I can now pee in company (I was a nervous toilet user).

And 5) clothes shopping for a baby is addictive! (My husband hates this).

Lets hope that in this next year my little girl will learn: that shutting your fingers in draws is never a good idea and hurts,  to walk, to pass gently instead of throwing and keep on blossoming in every way!